Five Minutes

Five minutes was all I asked. Five minutes was all I had. In that time I reached up, grabbed a handful of mane, bobbed on one foot careful not to pull the saddle toward me and climbed aboard. Heard the familiar creak of leather. Patted his neck and smelled the familiar smell of sweat and hair on my hand. Gathered up the reins to “put the horse in gear” and stepped on the throttle with a light stab of my heels. The bunching of muscle and twitch of skin told me he was listening and ready to take us forward and true to his nature, left the direction up to me. We walked for a few minutes to establish a working relationship, your moves, my moves. Before we attempt to try out the throttle, we try out the brakes and with a light tightening of the reins, a shift in my balance toward the back and heels ahead and a quiet ho-hup from me, we come to an immediate stop. Loosen the reins but maintain contact we're off again, this time a little brisker. This time the stop a little more immediate. And this time the go is in an opposite direction, just to find out who was really holding the steering wheel. Your wish is my command he seemed to say. A few minutes of that and we're satisfied, ready to walk back to his owner and do what riders do best, sit on their horse a few minutes, slack reined, while just hanging out and talking. No pestering. No fidgeting. No nibbling. Just hanging out. Hold the reins taut in one hand perched on the horn, swing over and balance on one foot for a nano second, and climb down. A scritch on the neck to say thank you and assure that the familiar scent of sweat and hair is on both hands, and hand the reins back over. Five minutes was all it took to realize what's been missing and what will be coming in the coming months.

Beyond Exhaution

"Beyond exhaustion". Adv. Adj. Verb Noun Def: A weekend class which required predawn alarms, long hours, responsibility for the entertainment, safety, and success of paying students. (historical note: predawn alarm in the past 48 hours which did not activate caused oversleeping so now when it's crucial, the lightness of sleep is commenserate with the weight of the responsibility of not oversleeping again) Also of note, this being the "last" class of the season which represents my guilt and responsibilty of my having to explain and justify why there wont be another for so long, and more description of work I will have to find to do during the down-time as I report this information to the boss(es). Further definition of exhaustion: this being an "away" class which required securing a truck (borrowed), trailer(borrowed), lists of materials the length of your arm, man power to pack said truck/trailer/materials, requesting a check for the rent, justifying payment for the manpower/help/rent (because of still paying for first rent), new area to run a class in that's full of unknown obstacles and pitfalls to contend with (ie: Labor Day weekend overflow parking from Lake Perris on OUR parking lot and plumbing in the classroom which has now twice left us with overflowing toilets on OUR time making it OUR responsibility). Man power of said away-class to drive the borrowed truck trailer is me, and in my limited experience find that pulling said 28 foot trailer loaded with 9 bikes, 18 tie downs, various ez ups, chairs, coolers, file boxes, cones and lumber is treacherous at best and downright terrifying, especially when being maneuvered through a) check point charley DUI station #1 on Friday night, 2) through an 8'1" wide gate with an 8' wide trailer. Numerous times. In the dark. With Fair traffic coming toward you and Norco sheriff behind you holding a light on you demanding that you "move this trailer off of the road" "Now". 3) Driving through 2nd DUi station on another night with said trailer after having stopped after a 12 hour day for some dinner. And beers. 4) Manuevering through said gate once again at night but this time with less direct angle to begin and getting tangled up in said fence. 5) Going no more than 55 mph at any given time because of the warnings and experience that the tongue weight is incorrect and there is "some opportunity for swaying". "Which would be bad".
Of note of course would be the class itself which housed an opportunity to host an unannounced Quality Assurance audit from the State, a summer day predicted to be 93 degrees but instead is 103. A class full of what I would describe as "anchors" for anyone familiar with the term, and then of course a fairly unassuming "tip over" requiring an incident report, followed by a dismissal of that student from class, closely watched for propriety by the auditor of course, then immediately followed up by a complete passing out, fainting, loss of conciousness by said dismissed student which required a call to 911 to have said unconcious student checked over by the authorities. Note to self: Good news, the check by paramedics was clear, and student refused any further attention. Note that will be being supplied to the authorites by said auditor: "exceeds standards". "Especially because of the handling of the emergency".
More definition of "beyond exhaustion": Should I even begin to add to the effort and emotion already expended in the past two to three weeks of moving out of a recent residence, m0ving out of a recent relationship, moving back INTO a past residence which carries ghosts and memories having to be contended with. Nah, that wouldn't even begin to describe the amount of discord that lays lying around in my immediate vicinity. I have nothing solid underneath me right now, nothing within my control or comfort in my surroundings, nothing solid in the "mobile" class I'm trying to put on. All I know is the tangible feeling of exhaustion. And to that end it is very real. And actually kind of welcomed and respected for all it's worth. If I do say so myself.